Twas The Night Before Valentine's

So true life confessional time: I just spent the last hour of my life cleaning my apartment with a Valentine's Day play list, courtesy of YouTube, blaring in the background. I'll try to keep this post as non mushy as possible, but I Can't Help Falling In Love With You  it if my musical choices From This Moment On  the past hour have rubbed off on me a bit, and effects The Way You Look I write Tonight.

This past week I was supposed to go to the one of the hottest tourist destinations on the planet, Dhaka, Bangladesh! Never heard of it? It's up-and-coming (if there were a font to use specifically when I was being sarcastic, I would have just used it). Luckily, the Flight Gods were looking out for me, and  I received a last minute schedule change and flew, instead, to Johannesburg, South Africa!

My cousin spent several years living in South Africa, and fell in love with the country. She liked it so much, in fact, that when she returned to the U.S. she brought back a souvenir in the form of a husband! Over the past few years my family has come to know and love my cousin's husband, Marco, and his family, and have learned a lot about South Africa and it's culture. Naturally, it has been one of the countries I was most looking forward to visiting!

With most every experience in life, you have expectation when entering into a new situation. In my mind, South Africa was hardly even a part of Africa. I have been to Uganda and Ghana and seen the extreme poverty that exists in these African countries, but knowing that most South Africans I am familiar with are very westernized, I assumed that the country itself was completely westernized as well. I was extremely surprised to see, at least in Johannesburg, that people living in third world and first world conditions literally share this city.

We stayed in the downtown area, in a very posh hotel, and went out as a crew to a very upscale area for an awesome steak dinner the first night we arrived. This was the side of South Africa I was expecting. The next morning a group of us ventured off with a tour guide to see the Johannesburg Lion Park. As we drove out of the downtown area I was amazed to see that beautiful subdivisions, and villages filled with shacks existed only blocks away from one another. It was very interesting to see, and it was quite different than any other city I've ever been to before.

Jo'Burg Hotel Room

The country itself was gorgeous, and after being trapped in the sandpit for nearly two weeks, I thought all of the greenery was exceptionally beautiful! I had an amazing time at the Lion Park, and was able to get way closer to some species than I had ever hoped or even wanted! I was all about keeping my distance from the lions. Baby lions are still lions in my book!

Notice my strategic placement near the wall....

 

Before we left for the Lion Park, I squeezed in a four mile run in at the hotel gym, and following the Lion Park, worked an eight hour flight back to Dubai, so when the plane touched down I was exhausted! I spent the next 24 hours in my signature after a flight look: leopard pajama pants, a large t-shirt with the slogan God Made Policemen So Firefighters Could Have Heroes printed across my chest, coke bottle glasses, and my long hair caked in 10 hour old hair sprayed tied messily on top my head. Needless to say, I didn't leave my apartment. I also have officially entered into my February mope. Seriously, besides a few awesome people being born in this month, what good ever happens in February?! Thankfully, God only made this stupid month with 28 days, and only once every four years they (I don't know who they are), try to be funny and throw in an extra day to the suckiest month of the year, and well, you can ask my mom how well that worked out last year! Oh wait, that's right, YOU CAN'T.....

Dying on Leap Day is for fools, I tell you, FOOLS!

I'm Talking About You, Gail Schutz!

Rant over.

Anyways, I woke up yesterday, and thought, "Schutz, get your shit together," and ended up having a great day! Attitude really is everything. Who woulda thunk it!? I spent the day at a resort pool with my friend Paula, and went with another group of friends last night for dinner and to see Dralion by Cirque Du Soleil! The show was absolutely amazing! After the show, one of the producers saw me striking this pose, and offered me a lead part, on the spot. I obviously had to decline, because I'm really busy and stuff, but I was flattered (again, where's that font when I need it).

Have a great week and enjoy celebrating Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Valentine's Day, and Kelsey's First Half Marathon Day!


 

Victory All Around

Greetings Friends and Foes!

Today is a bit of a celebratory day in the book of Kelsey Schutz as I’ve not only successfully completed my certification exams for work, but I also completed my final long training run my half marathon preparation. Waahoo!

I’m sure most people laugh at the thought of flight attendant training being tough, I mean how hard is it to ask if someone if they would prefer chicken or beef, right? However, the safety and emergency procedure’s training and well as the general medical training we are tested on is very in depth and detailed. Most of my colleagues began studying the exact locations of the fire extinguishers, signs and symptoms of a heart attack, and fire fighting protocols weeks before their recertification exams. Being the procrastinator that I am, I begun studying the day before. Despite by minimal effort, I still managed to skim by, and am happy to announce that I am once again legal to hold people’s lives in my hands at 30,000 feet above the earth. Mwahahaha

To celebrate my flight attendant victory, I woke up at the butt crack of dawn, drank my black coffee, ate my banana and peanut butter pita wrap, read everyone’s facebook rants concerning the Superbowl (no such showings on Arab TV), through on my running clothes, and hailed a cab to the Dubai Marina to run my final pre race 12 miler.

I’ve kept a log of my training runs, and it’s fun to not only look back at how far I’ve come in terms of conditioning, but also where all I have actually run. I’ve ran on treadmills in Milan (Italy), Accra (Africa), and Dallas (Texas). I’ve ran on trails in Zurich (Switzerland), along the ocean in Los Angeles, through parks in Dubai with fellow joggers wearing their abayas, and, one of my personal favorites, down the mean streets of White Hall, Illinois!

Al Barsha Pond Park (Dubai)

While I usually run on a padded track at a park near my apartment, I decided that for today I might die from physically running 12 miles, so why up my chances of death from boredom after running the same 1.5 mile loop for two hours? Running on the roads in Dubai and hoping you won't get hit by a car, is pretty much the equivalent of walking through East St. Louis with a sign on your back reading "I HAVE CASH" and hoping to not get robbed. The drivers here are insane, therefore running along the roads is out!

The Dubai Marina has a great walkway surrounding the water that is filled with cool cafes the entire way around, and is very jogger friendly. It is even complete with a bridge that overlooks the sea. Running with a view of the ocean is always a bonus! The jogging path even had tons of motivational signs (sponsored by Reebok), and kilometer markers, which is great if you understand the Metric System....

Dubai Marina

I started my run a little after 7:00, and 1 hour and 56 minutes later I had completed 12 miles. The entire run actually went really well, but I was also completely ok that it was over! Since the entire run burnt a few calories, or a hundred, I decided I could treat myself, and I devoured a ginormous mushroom omelet and toast, and didn't feel even slightly guilty about it!

 And now for more exciting news, I'm off to the grocery store. I've been alternating between brussel sprouts and frozen pizzas for the last 4 nights of dinner. Unfortunately, I'm not joking.

Have a great week!

 

Poker Game of Life

I recently watched an Oprah episode (yes, I am a huge fan, don't judge me), where she interviewed Pastor Rick Warren, who was comparing life to a game of poker. Warren explained that we all have five cards in the game of life: chemistry, connections, circumstances, consciousness and choice.

“The cards we are dealt are the things we don't have control over. I didn't choose where I was born, when I was born, I didn't choose my gender, my parents, my race, my natural abilities, my natural weaknesses, but a wise player can even play what seems to be a weak hand, and win the game. There are ways to take what you are given and make the most out of it," said Warren

Warren goes on to explain that out of the five cards, the first four are non negotiable. The fifth card, choice, is the only card we have control over, and this single card can make it or break it in the game of life.

Last week marked my one year anniversary of living in Dubai. I remember my parents being so incredibly proud of me for making my big move last year, and embarking on yet another one of life's great adventures. Although they were scared about their baby moving so far away, they also shared with me in my excitement. My mom and I held many Skype conversations during the first few weeks following my move, the majority of those with her sitting uncomfortably on the second to bottom basement step, balancing the laptop on her knee, careful not to move an inch and risk loosing access to the one spot in the house that seemed to be able to hold a steady wireless connection. During our conversations, I always talked, and she always listened, as I rambled on about my new city, new friends, new apartment, and new job.

"I look forward to seeing it for myself," she'd always smile and reply. And she meant it, too.

 My mom obviously never made it to Dubai. Turns out, that visit wasn't in her cards.

After my mom passed away, my family quickly adopted the attitude that she died, but we didn't, and that we have to keep going, we have to keep living. As the one year anniversary of my mom's death becomes closer, I'm amazed by how much I've learned from her passing. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that just because our loved ones are gone physically, their presence is always with you. I've had so many crazy things happen this year, that I know without a doubt are my mom. So when my dad and I began to discuss a time for him to come visit me, and the week of my one year anniversary in Dubai, as well as the one year anniversary of the last time I ever saw my sweet Mama just so happened to be available for the both of us, I knew it was meant to be.

So last week, after nearly 24 hours of standby travel, I picked up my weary traveler of a dad from the airport, and transported him via limo back to my apartment where I had prepared the most lavish guest bedroom known to mankind. Ok, ok it was a city cab and an air mattress. Tomato, tomaaatooo!

Although this was technically my dad's vacation, I was on a bit of a mission to show him as much of Dubai as possible in a mere six days, and he was such a good sport! Throughout the week we attended Friday morning services at my church in Dubai, ate and drank at brunch with my friends, went on morning runs, saw the local horse races, floated down the Dubai creek on a Dhow dinner cruise, shopped at the Gold Souks, enjoyed a desert safari (complete with dune bashing and camel rides), toured a local mosque, watched the world's largest outdoor fountain show beside the world's tallest building, and, my personal highlight of the week, skied on the indoor sloops of Ski Dubai! I still stick to my claim that it wasn't until after I brought him up to the highest point, and watched him tumble down the slopes, quickly picking up speed like a giant snowball, that I realized he was being serious about the whole, "I've never skied before" thing. Oops!

Ski Dubai

For the low down payment of only three camels, this man's daughter could be YOUR next wife!

My dad and I had an overall awesome week together, but it definitely wasn't without some bittersweet moments. I read a quote the other day on one of the grief blogs I follow (btw reading really sad stories in grief books, websites, etc. makes me feel about as inspired to move on with my life, as Pinterests' "motivational" pictures makes me feel like putting down my 3rd ice cream sandwich for the day...), that after the death of a loved one, it's almost like your family portrait is forever painted with a slightly different color. Perhaps that's a little fluffy, but I agree that no matter how great the good times are, a part of me will just ALWAYS miss my mom and wish that she were here.

Loosing my mom when I was 23 was something that I had no control over (wonk, wonk). Death is a part of those four cards in the game of life that we can't change. What I am happy to report though, is that despite the pure amount of suckage (is that a word? it should be!) it is that she died, my family continues to keep living, continues to still find joy, and continues to celebrate the good things in life, because there still are a million good things in life! I'm very grateful that my family has CHOSEN to have this attitude, and despite the setback of this past year, I think we've made the very best of being dealt a weak hand.

All in favor of the Schutz Family doing a rendition of Lady Gaga's song Poker Face say I!

I!!!!

New Year, New Pad

Happy New Year! Hope all of your resolutions aregoing well. My 2013 resolution was to give up chocolate, cold turkey style.Nutella, Reese’s (cups, trees, and bunnies), and chocolate chips, all a part of my past! It went well, cravings were relatively low, until 12:35 A.M. January 1^st,when some jerk paraded down to economy class and presented all of us stewardesses with celebratory Godiva Chocolates. Here’s to 2014!

It’s safe to say 2013 was not my most exciting new years to date. As my watch struck midnight, I was decked out in the old beige uniform and a pair of disposable gloves, flying approximately 30,000 feet above northern Africa, crouched down in the airplane lavatory, and wiping remnants of someone else’s urine off the discolored toilet seat. Seriously, do I know how to party, or what?

I decided what better way to kick off a new year than with a new apartment! Actually, I decided it was time for a new apartment about eight months ago, the accommodations department didn’t agree with me until last week. My housing (including electricity and water) is provided completely free,so I’m really not in the position to complain. My former apartment was a nice place. It was in the downtown area of Dubai, conveniently located right next to the metro and, by one of my favorite places in this world, Starbucks. One of the downfalls to the former apartment was that I lived on the 43^rd floor, and none of the windows opened. I missed being able to have fresh air,and I could never quite get passed the time I was my bedroom, wearing nothing but my underwear, and a Filipino window washer gave me a friendly wave. It was creepy to say the least.

The biggest reason I wanted to move is so that I could live with one of my friends. My former roommates were very polite, but just informing people that the inhabitants of my apartment were American, Chinese,and Ethiopian sounded like the beginning of a bad joke. The three of us all stayed in our rooms when we were there together and there was no shared living space. Even though I don’t forsee myself staying in the UAE for anextended amount of time, I still want my apartment to feel like a home.

Last week my friend Maggie and I were notified of an available, two bedroom apartment in a building that formally only housed first officers, however, due to an increase in staff, they were opening up 16 apartments. We toured the new place, and both loved it! It’s still very close to a metro stop, has an awesome gym and pool, a nearby park with a padded running track, and a great roof top view that includes both the sea and the snowy slopes of Ski Dubai!

 
We moved in several days ago, and I think we’ve both enjoyed having someone to share meals with, run ideas by, and most importantly, knowing that if one of us croaked another human being would inevitably notice in a timely manner (a fear we both shared living in our former apartments). The new place is also located close to a mosque, complete with a soundsystem that notifies me of the five different call to prayer times throughout the day. If you can’t beat em, join em! However, I don’t know any Muslim prayers off the top of my head, so I am now taking suggestions of alternative things I could do five times daily. Push ups every time I hear it? The Macherana? Hammer time?Perhaps, even more productive, my own prayers? I will report back!

Hope you all have a great 2013!

“Life is about experiencing all the things you find interesting and fascinating. Just get out there and experience as much as you can. Participate in life!” –Louie Zamperini

The Living Room

My Bedroom...Representin' White Hall

Where the Magic Happens!

Muzungu In Uganda

Ever just have those moments where you are overcome with peace? For me, it's a different feeling than happiness. Happiness comes in the form of ice cream, fact. Peace is the feeling I get when I recognize that at this exact moment, there's no where else I'd rather be than right where I am that very second. Sometimes the feeling comes when I'm by the ocean, on a run, swinging in my parent's backyard, laughing with my favorite people, or, as was the case this week, riding on the back of a stranger's motorbike through remote Ugandan villages.

Let me rewind. Before I left for my trip to Entebbe,Uganda, I received an email from a fellow crew member informing me that through a website she had located a tour guide that would be willing to show us around Entebbe. Always up for an adventure, and in need of redeeming myself after being a lame-o in India, I eagerly signed up!

Just an hour after our arrival, we met our tour guide, Walter, outside the gates of our hotel. Walter also brought along three other drivers, so that all four of us crew members could have our own limousines. And by limousines, I do mean motorbikes, or as the locals call them, boda bodas. My driver, a very sweet Ugandan man who introduced himself as Johny, and after a five minute discussion over the pronunciation of my name, settled on calling me Kels for the remainder of the day.


My driver, Johny.

 

We quickly signed waivers promising not to sue Walter's Boda Boda Tours in the unlikely event that we were injured and or killed that day. We were fitted with our very own bike helmets (safety first), and away we went!

 



 

The first stop along the tour was to a large mosque. Following with Muslim practices, women must wear skirts and cover their hair in order to enter the mosque. Although skirts and a scarf wrapped around my head is not my usual look, I obliged.

 

 

After I was all suited up, we entered into the mosque, and climbed a tower connected to it that led to an awesome view of the city. It was neat to have different areas pointed out to us, so that we would somewhat know where we were during the rest of the tour.

Before we left the mosque, Walter took a moment to explain the next point of interest along our tour. We would be driving through the slums, but because of safety reasons we would not be stopping. Houses, many made of leftover plywood scraps, lined the dirt roads. Children, no older than ten, with dirty faces and no shoes, carried babies on their backs. And every few feet blankets were spread out on the ground that were covered with clothing items that were for sale. They all appeared to be used clothing, and many of the tee shirts I saw had logos such as Miami Heat and Iowa State University printed on them. Many people shouted, "Muzungu, muzungu," (white person), as we drove past, and we definitely were among the minority in this neck of the woods.

After driving through the slums we reached an area that served as a torture camp during the 1970's. Over 300 people were tortured and died inside of the champers. The victim's hand prints, created from a mixture of the mud and feces they were forced to stand in, remain on the walls. Being inside of the chamber was eery, and I was more than happy to get the heck out of dodge, so to speak.

After our stop at the ol Disney World of Uganda, I was beyond exhausted and ready to head back to our hotel. Nightfall had set in, as had crazy amounts of traffic. Although all four of us left at the same time, we all were soon separated due to the every man for themselves style of traffic. After about eight minutes into our thirty minute drive, Johny and I came to a street that was blocked as far as the eye could see with vans, taxi's, and bota bota's. There was no other choice for movement, even the sidewalks were blocked with vehicles, so we turned off our motorbike, and sat. And sat. And sat. I took my camera out from it's hiding spot in the front of my shirt in order to capture this craziness on film, but Johny was quick to tell me, "Kels, not safe. Camera away." Noted.

With that, I did become slightly frightened. Girl, check. Only white in sight, check check. No cell phone, check check and check! All while humming the tune of "Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh dooooo remember me," I slowly started to pull down the sleeves on my rolled up shirt so that I could tuck my white hands inside, and ever so slightly shoved my long braid inside of my helmet. Anything to minimize the whole extreme tourist look I had going on! Within minutes we were rolling again. I was literally squeezing my knees together so that my long legs would not scrape the other vehicles as we zipped past them. The traffic was insane!

 Eventually we reached an open rode, and picked up speed. The wind was blowing, the moon was shinning, and I was smiling and holding on tight to Johny (my knight and shining armor), in a brand new place I had never been before. I'm not exactly sure where we were or how we got there, but I do know that for those few seconds... there was no where else in the entire world I would have rather been.

And that my friends, is peace!

My Non Adventures in Kolkata

Last week I had this post all planned out in my mind. It was going to about my trip to Kolkata, India, and include the extremely touching and inspirational account of my visit to the Mother Theresa Orphanage. It was supposed to be a life changing event, and the retelling of my visit was almost guaranteed to produce a few tears out of you, my faithful blog readers. Unfortunately, I have no such story to tell. My adventures in Kolkata are about as anti climatic as the retelling of the paint drying process. I reached my hotel, closed my eyes for a quick 15 minute power nap, and slept for seven hours straight. I woke up just long enough to realize I had missed out on an entire days worth of activities, ordered and ate some questionable chicken curry via room service, and fell back asleep for another seven hours. Then I left.

I should have known better than to even formulate afternoon plans with my fellow crew members, all the classic signs of exhaustion were there. I fell sound asleep on the twenty minute bus ride from the airport to the hotel, and after being woken up by the captain, I threw my red hat on and haphazardly tossed the white scarf around my head, completely wishing that it was my blanket instead, and stumbled into the hotel lobby. Before I could fully even open my eyes, a bright flash went off and a man with a name tag, indicating he worked for the hotel, was muttering with a thick Indian accent something about capturing memories of a lifetime. It wasn't even until the next day when I received an email from the hotel, and opened up this gem of a photo that I realized not only had I been had walking around with a bright red lipstick stain on the shoulder of my blazer (visual proof of my bus ride snooze), but those little sneaky sneak members of the hotel welcoming staff had managed to place a bright red bindi on my forehead! I legit thought she was adjusting my hat. Sleep deprivation, you won this round!

Half Asleep Kelsey and The Rest Of The Cabin Crew. Photo Courtesy of The Hotel Staff .

This month I was given a schedule that was nearly full of turn around flights (trips that have no layover). I actually haven't minded the large amounts of turn arounds, as it's allowed me to spend more time than usual at home in Dubai.

Last week I flew to Baghdad, Iraq twice. It was actually a nice flight, and all of the passengers were very kind. Many of them were US citizens, doing civilian work in the region. I couldn't help but to have Outkast's song, Bombs Over Baghdad stuck in my mind as we were flying over the tiny country. Luckily, that good ol common sense kicked in, and I decided it would be best for the blond American to refrain from humming this catchy little tune during the flight to the not so land of the free!

So in between my turn around flights, I've been on a mission to accomplish two goals during the month of December. Goal number one: begin training for a half marathon. I have officially signed up to run my first ever half marathon (I've actually signed up for a half before....just didn't run it. Oops). The race is in the U.A.E. in February. I've been training for just about three weeks, and as of today, I've ran 30 miles total, 14 of those this week. So far, training has been injury free, sans the slight shoulder sprain I just encountered from patting myself on the back...

My second December goal has been to get into the holiday spirit. Holidays without my mom are just so stinking hard! Through this really fun grieving process, I've learned that trying to mentally skip out on things like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays is ineffective, so it is better to just embrace them. Despite living in a Muslim country located in the desert, I've been trying my hardest to celebrate the Christmas season. So far, I've gone ice skating, watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, decorated Christmas cupcakes, painted ornaments, hung up my advent calendar, and forced my friends to pose with me for pictures next to anything even remotely Christmasy! I must say, it's beginning to look a lot like....

Paula, Me, Santa, and Sarah at A Resort Lobby In Dubai.

Adventures in Accra

The great Forest Gump said it best, "Life is like a box of chocolates, ya never know what you're gonna get."

Following suit with this philosophy, I think it's safe to say that Friday was like biting into a chocolate covered pepperoni. It wasn't necessarily horrible, but completely unexpected!

Every six months I'm required to be on reserve, meaning that instead of getting a schedule for the full month, I act as a substitute in case another cabin crew member calls in sick or fails to report for their flight. On Friday morning I was assigned to be on standby duty at our headquarters. As soon as I checked in, I was informed that I would be going on a four day trip to Accra. Accawhat?!

I quickly googled Accra, to figure out what part of the world I was actually headed to, and boarded the flight. Off to Ghana I flew!

Mural Painted Inside The Accra Airport

After an eight hour flight, we landed on the coast of Western Africa. Despite being exhausted, I decided to head out with two other crew members and the captain to check out the local beach and possibly go horse back riding. The ride to the ocean was very interesting! At stop signs, men and women, who were peddling various items such as bottles of juice, fresh fruit, and AA batteries, knocked on our taxi cab windows, and begged us to make purchases. I'm all stocked up on AA batteries, so I passed. However, I am still in complete amazement at the amount of weight people are able to balance on their heads!

Notice The Tray of Fruit...Impressive
 

After hearing several bad reviews about the quality of the local beach, I had my expectations set quite low, however, I was pleasantly surprised! The ocean is actually part of the Atlantic, so it was kind of cool to see the other side of the ocean that I grew up peeing in visiting! After the full day of flying, our energy levels were relatively low. We all decided that drinking the local beer and looking at the horses would be much more relaxing than actually riding them!

Insert Horse's Ass Joke Here

The next day we did a quick shuttle flight to Abidjan, Ivory Coast, and ended up back in Accra for another night. The entire crew then ventured out to an awesome local seafood restaurant for dinner. It was definitely one of the top five best seafood meals I've ever eaten in my life! Calamari, tuna steak, and lobster...check, check, and check!

 

 

Thankfully, I managed to squeeze back into the ol beige uniform, and landed safely into Dubai yesterday! Now, off to enjoy the next three days, no work style!