Empty Nesters Gaining Birds.
This was the title of a research paper I had written while in college that I recently found while sorting through the excessive mounds of Kelsey Schutz memorabilia that the president of my fan club had been so diligently collecting since before my birth. I am discovering that my mother not only kept nearly every single school assignment her children ever completed, but also newspapers from the day each of her four children were born, calendars detailing her pregnancies, including which days we had hiccups and which days she felt us move, and even clippings from our first, second, and fifteenth hair cuts! My favorite find from yesterday was a letter to Santa from my ornery older brother Brock, circa 1994.....
"Dear Santa, I'm sorry I've been such a brat this year. I just really haven't been feeling very well...."
I don't recall the kid being sick a day in his life.
Anyways, I had written this particular research paper that explored the recent phenomenon of 20 somethings moving back home to live with their parents for a Human Behavior class as a mere 20 year old in 2008. I was not particularly passionate about the declining economy, nor the lack of available jobs in the United State at that time, but rather, I had scoped out my competition. I knew the majority of my classmates had the topics of abortion, gun control, and legalizing marijuana covered. I sat down to write the paper, that I had procrastinated on for months, a mere 12 hours before it was due. Knowing the paper was going to be glaringly half assed, I typed the entire thing with my fingers crossed, hoping that my professor would at least throw me a few originality points and I'd perhaps squeak by with a C. It worked.
But as I flipped through the college paper, the irony of the situation was not lost on me. When I wrote this paper, I had no idea what my future held, but I knew it most certainly didn't involve rejoining the coup I had just flown. Much less, the coup that had been revamped into my dad's very own bachelor pad! No Sir-E. I was going to move far, far away and never look back. Kelly Clarkson's song Miss Independent? Ya, she wrote that about me!
My 20 year old self even had the nerve to write a closing paragraph that offered a little personal reflection on the matter.
"While many young adults feel that moving back into their parents' home is their only option, I personally find this unhealthy for both the parents and the adult child. This living arrangement stunts the appropriate life stages that should be taking place for all parties involved."
Maybe I've been unemployed and watching way too many stupid movies lately, but my current feelings towards my outspoken, know it all, Ms. World is Your Oyster, 20 year old self is best personified by Jim Carey when his dual personalities Hank and Charlie duke it out in Me, Myself, and Irene. Sans the slapping myself across the face, I want to scream at 20 year old Kelsey with big crocodile sized tears streaming down my face, "You don't know what it's like out there! It's so hard on your own! It's scary! The world is scary! Run home to your mommy, little girl, while you still have one. Run!"
Ok, perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic here, I know that 's hard to believe, but it was amusing to find this paper considering my current living situation. I will give 20 year old Kelsey some credit, moving back home after being gone for seven years isn't exactly ideal, and it has definitely been accompanied with some major adjustments for my roomie and I.
I've had to learn to not park my car directly behind the garage door, which in turn traps my dad's vehicle inside the garage. My bad. He's working on overcoming his frat boy ways of dish washing. Who needs Dawn when you have tap water to clean your plates? I yi yi.
Another little piece to the transition puzzle is that my dad now has a lady friend. I actually met her while I was home on leave in February, she's absolutely lovely, and it's really nice to see my dad smiling again. But let's be real for a minute, meeting your father's new girlfriend, after seeing your parents happily married for 35 plus years, is going to be awkward, no matter how you cut the cookie. I knew meeting my dad's new girlfriend was going to be about a 75 on the awkward scale. So what do most people....ok what do I do in uncomfortable situations? That's right, crank it up a few more notches!
The entire week before the meeting, I had been bumming around the house in my typical lounging attire; unwashed hair tied on top my head, tie dyed sweatpants, fuzzy house slippers, and God Made Cops So Firemen Could Have Hero's t-shirt. My dad made the mistake of making the slight suggestion that I shower and look a little bit more presentable for our weekly family pizza night where I'd be meeting his new friend.
Being the good, obeying daughter I am, I adhered to his requests. That evening I showered, put on a little makeup, straightened my hair, and searched my closet high and low for the nicest outfit I owned. My father was beaming (that's the correct word to use when someone is hanging his head, and shaking it back and forth disapprovingly, right?) when he saw me walk down our staircase into our living room wearing my 2006 prom dress, topped off with my Western Illinois University homecoming royalty sash! I looked good!
Despite my antics, she's decided to stick around, and I'm really glad my dad has someone he enjoys spending time with and dating. For those of you who are keeping track, my dad has gone on more dates this year than I have. So that's always fun.
Now that we've gotten all the things I haven't been doing out of the way, let talk about what I have been doing. We shall title this segment of the blog, Things I Couldn't Do In Dubai!
Attend an Amish funeral! We have family friends who are Amish, and it was unfortunate that they lost a family member, but it was a culturally enriching experience. My very first one of it's kind!
Boating on the Illinois River with my Brudder Brock and friend Allison!
Fishing on Schutz Farm's Pond/modeling for Blue Moon. Keeping it classy, as always!
Sell Rib eyes for the Illinois Beef Association at the Illinois State Fair.
And last, but not least, wear shorty shorts and cowgirl boots to country concerts with my friends!
So as you can see, retirement is treating me quite well! If you hear of any available jobs, or companies hiring, please keep it to yourself as I am actively not looking for work! In all seriousness, there really is no place like home! I'm sure one day I'll eventually leave the nest, but as for now, I'm one happy bird!
"A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a far away place. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home." -Carl Burns
This was the title of a research paper I had written while in college that I recently found while sorting through the excessive mounds of Kelsey Schutz memorabilia that the president of my fan club had been so diligently collecting since before my birth. I am discovering that my mother not only kept nearly every single school assignment her children ever completed, but also newspapers from the day each of her four children were born, calendars detailing her pregnancies, including which days we had hiccups and which days she felt us move, and even clippings from our first, second, and fifteenth hair cuts! My favorite find from yesterday was a letter to Santa from my ornery older brother Brock, circa 1994.....
"Dear Santa, I'm sorry I've been such a brat this year. I just really haven't been feeling very well...."
I don't recall the kid being sick a day in his life.
Anyways, I had written this particular research paper that explored the recent phenomenon of 20 somethings moving back home to live with their parents for a Human Behavior class as a mere 20 year old in 2008. I was not particularly passionate about the declining economy, nor the lack of available jobs in the United State at that time, but rather, I had scoped out my competition. I knew the majority of my classmates had the topics of abortion, gun control, and legalizing marijuana covered. I sat down to write the paper, that I had procrastinated on for months, a mere 12 hours before it was due. Knowing the paper was going to be glaringly half assed, I typed the entire thing with my fingers crossed, hoping that my professor would at least throw me a few originality points and I'd perhaps squeak by with a C. It worked.
But as I flipped through the college paper, the irony of the situation was not lost on me. When I wrote this paper, I had no idea what my future held, but I knew it most certainly didn't involve rejoining the coup I had just flown. Much less, the coup that had been revamped into my dad's very own bachelor pad! No Sir-E. I was going to move far, far away and never look back. Kelly Clarkson's song Miss Independent? Ya, she wrote that about me!
My 20 year old self even had the nerve to write a closing paragraph that offered a little personal reflection on the matter.
"While many young adults feel that moving back into their parents' home is their only option, I personally find this unhealthy for both the parents and the adult child. This living arrangement stunts the appropriate life stages that should be taking place for all parties involved."
Maybe I've been unemployed and watching way too many stupid movies lately, but my current feelings towards my outspoken, know it all, Ms. World is Your Oyster, 20 year old self is best personified by Jim Carey when his dual personalities Hank and Charlie duke it out in Me, Myself, and Irene. Sans the slapping myself across the face, I want to scream at 20 year old Kelsey with big crocodile sized tears streaming down my face, "You don't know what it's like out there! It's so hard on your own! It's scary! The world is scary! Run home to your mommy, little girl, while you still have one. Run!"
Ok, perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic here, I know that 's hard to believe, but it was amusing to find this paper considering my current living situation. I will give 20 year old Kelsey some credit, moving back home after being gone for seven years isn't exactly ideal, and it has definitely been accompanied with some major adjustments for my roomie and I.
I've had to learn to not park my car directly behind the garage door, which in turn traps my dad's vehicle inside the garage. My bad. He's working on overcoming his frat boy ways of dish washing. Who needs Dawn when you have tap water to clean your plates? I yi yi.
Another little piece to the transition puzzle is that my dad now has a lady friend. I actually met her while I was home on leave in February, she's absolutely lovely, and it's really nice to see my dad smiling again. But let's be real for a minute, meeting your father's new girlfriend, after seeing your parents happily married for 35 plus years, is going to be awkward, no matter how you cut the cookie. I knew meeting my dad's new girlfriend was going to be about a 75 on the awkward scale. So what do most people....ok what do I do in uncomfortable situations? That's right, crank it up a few more notches!
The entire week before the meeting, I had been bumming around the house in my typical lounging attire; unwashed hair tied on top my head, tie dyed sweatpants, fuzzy house slippers, and God Made Cops So Firemen Could Have Hero's t-shirt. My dad made the mistake of making the slight suggestion that I shower and look a little bit more presentable for our weekly family pizza night where I'd be meeting his new friend.
Being the good, obeying daughter I am, I adhered to his requests. That evening I showered, put on a little makeup, straightened my hair, and searched my closet high and low for the nicest outfit I owned. My father was beaming (that's the correct word to use when someone is hanging his head, and shaking it back and forth disapprovingly, right?) when he saw me walk down our staircase into our living room wearing my 2006 prom dress, topped off with my Western Illinois University homecoming royalty sash! I looked good!
 |
| Please Note: Tie Dyed Sweats 11:00 |
Despite my antics, she's decided to stick around, and I'm really glad my dad has someone he enjoys spending time with and dating. For those of you who are keeping track, my dad has gone on more dates this year than I have. So that's always fun.
Now that we've gotten all the things I haven't been doing out of the way, let talk about what I have been doing. We shall title this segment of the blog, Things I Couldn't Do In Dubai!
Attend an Amish funeral! We have family friends who are Amish, and it was unfortunate that they lost a family member, but it was a culturally enriching experience. My very first one of it's kind!
 |
| Amish Buggy, Straight Ahead |
Fishing on Schutz Farm's Pond/modeling for Blue Moon. Keeping it classy, as always!
Sell Rib eyes for the Illinois Beef Association at the Illinois State Fair.
And last, but not least, wear shorty shorts and cowgirl boots to country concerts with my friends!
So as you can see, retirement is treating me quite well! If you hear of any available jobs, or companies hiring, please keep it to yourself as I am actively not looking for work! In all seriousness, there really is no place like home! I'm sure one day I'll eventually leave the nest, but as for now, I'm one happy bird!
 |
| Home Sweet Home...Three Winters Ago |
"A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a far away place. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home." -Carl Burns
What a great post! I was laughing at your dress and sash! And you are right, home is just the best place to be sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI hope you consider pursuing something where writing is involved. You really have a great way with words and your blog should be a book.
ReplyDeleteYou're hilarious, and I love the prom dress and homecoming sash concoction!
ReplyDelete