Uncatagorizable Fun

Greetings friends!

I do hope you excuse the weekly postings that have not been happening on this here blog, but frankly my life has gone down about 100 points on the excit-o-meter and my writing material well has been a little dry. No need to worry, I'm alive and well!

I'm still gleefully un full time employed and enjoying the sweet gig that is substitute teaching. On the daily, I'm perplexed at the random and sometime hilarious shiznit that comes out of the kids' mouths. Like the pre pubescent middle school boy who raised his hand at the beginning of class several weeks ago and smugly asked if that was Ms. Schutz or Mrs. Schutz.

Or, the elementary girl who approached my desk  last week while froshiously scratching her scalp.

Student: Ms. Schutz may I go to the nurse, my head itches real bad.
Me: (while scooting my chair away from Long Locks Lucy faster than you can say Rid) Yes, of course!
Nosy Classmates: Why does your head itch?
Student: My mom said its a secret.

Excellent.

And although subbing does keep me busy most days, I love that the flexibility of the job allows me to freely take days off in order to enjoy my hobbies and explore other possible career paths. Like last month, when I participated in Take Your Neighbor To Work Day. Wasn't aware that day existed? Much like my birthday, I'm still pushing for its national recognition. Any day now folks, any day.

So yes, several weeks ago I was sitting around a fall bonfire, enjoying the company of family and friends, when my equally awesome (strange) as me cousin Lindsey and I began visiting with my neighbor, a mortician. We grilled him for all of his craziest funeral home stories, and perhaps need to seek professional help based on how eager we were to hear all of the gory details. We were so fascinated by his work that,  being the bashful and shy individuals Lindsey and I are, asked if we could go to work with him. It was much to our surprise when he agreed!

So that following Wednesday, the two of us slap jacks showed up bright and early in our finest black attire, ready and willing to dutifully serve as mortician interns #1 and # 2. We began our day by taking a tour of the large facility and learned about the funeral directors' role. The head funeral director, who was leading us on the tour, explained to us that it is their responsibility to take a grief stricken family, and to help them start making decisions and carry out arrangements that would be most fitting and respectful. Hearing that statement made me view the funeral director position from a completely different perspective, and admire them for the difficult situations they handle daily.

Our last stop on the tour de funeral home was the much anticipated embalming room.

Intern #1-Lindsey

 There were three corpse in the room with us, and as much as I had anticipated being beyond freaked, it was oddly peaceful. I'd take the embalming room over the New York Subway any day! We were shown the tables where the embalming process takes place, informed about the various steps of the process, and discussed the cosmetic puttys and pastes that are used to make an individual look as realistic as possible. Although Lindsey and I could have stayed in the room for another hour asking questions, we unfortunately ran out of time, as we had to hurry to our first and final official task as interns #1 and #2; assisting with a graveside service.

The funeral was for an elderly man, and because our first priority was showing our respect to the family, Linds and I mostly just observed my neighbor during the service. The real cheery on top for us was that we were thrown the keys to the  funeral home's black Caddie and instructed to drive the officiant from the cemetery back to the funeral home.  Not gonna lie, we felt like pretty big B.A. 's    during that 3/4 of a mile drive!

Intern #2-Kelsey

And as quickly as the idea for Bring Your Neighbor To Work Day popped into our numb skulls, our hard day's work was over.... by noon. Perfect! I'm not exactly sure becoming a mortician or funeral director will ever be in my career path, but I can definitely say we learned a ton and gained a new appreciation for the funeral industry. I was beyond impressed with the level of respect and professionalism the funeral home staff show to the deceased and their families. A big thanks to my neighbor for letting us do a little job shadowing. :)

Now for other news I've been dying to tell you about (pun totally intended and the world's worst segue), I've just returned from five fun filled days in Vegas where I got a little thing called a half marathon PR baby! I completed the Rock 'n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon in 2:01:14. Obviously, I was hoping to finish under two hours, but I was still pretty stinking excited to shave four minutes off my time. Next time, sub two hours is mine!



Post Half Marathon-Pre Shower

Although the race was awesome, the real highlight of the trip was getting to spend time with so many friends from various stages of my life. Throughout all of my travels and life adventures, I've never been a big acquirer of souvenirs, but I am a huge collector of friends...mainly because I don't have to dust them. I traveled to Vegas and completed the race with my childhood friend, Evan, whom I've practically been friends with since the fifth of forever.

In Case You Can't Tell Because Of Our Identical Abs, I'm actually The One On The Right

I loved having my very own tour guides in the form of my friends and former Spirit flight attendants, Michelle and Keegan, who now live in Vegas.

Evan, Yours Truly, Michelle, and Keegan

My muy bonita friend Maria, who is also a Spirit flight attendant, now living in Dallas, flew into Vegas for one night in order to join in on the festivities. However, my friend Charlotte, who I met during my first day in Dubai, received the award for the most miles traveled in order to party in Vegas, as she had just flown into the US from the UAE that day. It was awesome to see both girls, and Charlotte completely out did herself by having her friend set us up with VIP seating, complete with free bottle service in the LAX Nightclub. Good times were had by all!

Maria, Me, and Charlotte

And now that I'm back in God's country, and the Rock and Roll Half Marathon is now just a blast in my past, I'd love to report that my only plans for the next two months involve laying on my couch in stretchy pants, giggling at Christmas movies, and stuffing my face with fudge and sugar cookies. Although I have every intention of doing just that, it will be in addition to completing some serious training, and no, not for a holiday eating competition. Instead, I had the bright idea to sign up for my very first full marathon! If all goes as planned I will be running in the Walt Disney World Marathon in January. I'm pretty stoked, mostly because it means I get to go to Disney AKA my happy place.

Ma, Pa, and Their Favorite Child On Main Street USA- Ahhhhh

And once I complete those measly 26.2 miles, I'll move onto my next feat; conquering Kilimanjaro, and I'm not talking about the one in Animal Kingdom. Been there. Rode that.

Just one week after the marathon, I'll be trading in my running shoes for a pair of hiking boots, as I travel to Tanzania and attempt to climb the world's tallest free standing mountain, Mount Kilimanjaro.

Of course, I will be climbing to the highest point in Africa for charity...just kidding. This little trek is really just to get my buns rock hard and bikini ready for a week of beach laying in Zanzibar. Don't judge me.

And now, for those of you who are in need of a little inspiration to go for a run, bike those few extra miles, or polish off that last row of Girl Scout Cookies...

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" -Marvin Phillips

Have a great week everyone!